Colossians 1:9

• 9And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,

Urgency. I hear a urgency. The pressing need of prayer, a constant request, repeatedly submitted to the lord.

Remember asking for a guitar many times. Repeatedly. When that phase ended. I continued again, like a shrinking lobbyist, rallying for more funds for poor little children on the street. Well, my desires were much more selfish. Timmy wanted a shiny new guitar. I remember pestering my folks for more money until they gave it to me. They didn't even give me the full amount, but i took what i could get. I wasn't even sure i would GET the money. Still, a hungry dog chasing after the steak I pressed on.

How humbling my prayer practice is in comparison.

It's the numbers, no, its the time, and even at the core, its just a weak desire. The enemy has me harrowed in on all fronts. From eye-viewed reality, circumstances loom closer. From mind-silo, thoughts seem exhausted. And From the hearth of my soul, the fountain seems to be drying up.

If I would only pray more.

It's a huge disconnect! HUGE! I feel the powerlessness. I feel the weakness. I feel the anxiety and the fear. Why not pray? Why not pray? Why not pray?

I just don't. What evil that is! Be amazed oh heavens, this tiny man has skipped and frisked his most deepest foundation! He has tried to hold his own breath under toxic, when a request would have fished him from the depths!